15.Disappearing Act

Im distracted not attracted
You attach without connection
As I self serve my diffracted mind
I dont want what I need
I dont care about the scars I leave
Your name and smile a thrown out file
As soon as we break away
Only when I hate you do I really love myself

I will only let you down
I can only fail you

You wont want me then Ill want you
When you come back I wont want you
Pushed and pulled our minds will rip in two
Im so scared of what I need I dont care
About the scars received
I live in self denial
Im afraid of what Ive got
I dont know why I hate you when you love me

My lifes the lies of you and i
Ive grown so hard that I deny accusations even
When theyre true
My pain is all I trust I dont care
How much I bleed
Dont regret the time you met me
Dont hold the harm I did against me
I dont know why I want to hurt you
When you touch me

Why do you stick around and let me do this?
Why do you stick around for this torture?

Only when Im with you do I want to be without
Your eyes are the windows
To the emptiness inside me